Lies
by S. E. Bode
Summary: Everyone lies: white lies or humungouslifealteringrelationshipdestorying lies. It's all the same stuff.
1. Chapter 1

AN: This is my first Grey's Anatomy ff, and don't worry, I accept any kind of reviews, the good and the bad. This is my take on the next show, which will air January, 29, 2006. So yeah, please enjoy: )

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_You can't lie forever. Lies get found out; they fall apart. It is hell when they do—remember that little incident with my mother?—but there is something you can do to stop it. Sure, it isn't the easy way out, but at least you feel comfortable (or maybe not) knowing that there is that other path that you can take. You might feel comfortable knowing that if you took that path, that you could possible take the future into your hands._

_The other path is telling the truth. So I know that it isn't the easy way out , but do you see another alternative?_

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"I've decided to tell Burke that I haven't officially moved in with him," Christina said while sitting down on the bench in the middle of the two rows of lockers.

"I've decided to tell Derek I'm not just friends," Meredith responded while lacing up her sneakers.

Neither of them said anymore, but just finished getting ready and then went to go get their rounds.

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"Really?" Izzy asked George while they fought their way through the mob of petitioning nurses.

"I don't know. I'm sick of watching her beat herself up over Mc Dreamy and I'm gonna be a man and tell her how I feel." George ducked as a nurse swiped a sing right by his head. "Jeez," he whispered to Izzy who was laughing.

"Well it would be the first time, George." Izzy smiled.

They entered the hospital and made their way over to the elevators.

"First time for what?" George asked as the elevator doors opened to reveal an almost full compartment. Izzy stepped on, leaving no room for George; she turned, looked at him, and raised her eyebrows while taking a sip of her coffee.

"Hey!" George yelled and the elevator doors closed as Izzy smiled.

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In the elevator

"G'morning," a voice said in Izzy's ear. It was Alex. Izzy couldn't move because the elevator was on the point of breaking the weight capacity, but she replied with a smile on her face. Alex was back; ever since he had passed his practicals, Alex—the real arrogant, egocentric, yet totally hot Alex—had returned. Izzy couldn't help but feel giddy when he said something to her, or even look at her.

"So why does George have his panties in a twist?" Usually guys like Alex made Izzy want to go out and get a gun license, but Alex made her get goosebumps. Alex made Izzy swoon.

"He's convinced that he's going to tell Meredith about his crush on her." Izzy rolled her eyes, and could tell that Alex had done the same. Izzy loved George to death (as a brother) and she knew him. He would chicken out; it was just inevitable.

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"That damn dog has got to go," Addison yelled at Derek while they walked into the hospital.

"No," Derek said simply.

"Well, could we at least keep him outside? The trailer is already too small for the both of us."

"No."

Addison huffed and wondered why she put up with Derek's shit: the dog, the trailer, the ferry, Meredith. "Why? Why? Why?" She mumbled while taking a sip of her coffee.

She watched as Derek slipped off and then pushed the button for the elevator a little harder than necessary.

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"Good Morning Mrs. Ackerman. I'm Doctor Grey." Meredith smiled at the middle-aged woman lying in the bed with her hand resting on her forehead. Meredith looked over at the woman's husband and nodded. "What seems to be the problem?"

"Well I'm here for you to tell me that," the woman snipped. Meredith was taken aback. She resisted the urge to roll her eyes.

"Of course—" Meredith started, but Mr. Ackerman cut in.

"Mary!" He said while coming over to the patient's side. "What is wrong with you? You have no right to treat Doctor Grey like that. Say you are sorry."

Mrs. Ackerman looked wearily from her husband's kind eyes to Meredith's tired ones. "I'm sorry. I have a constant migraine and nothing seems to be helping."

"How long has it been going on?"

"For about three weeks. I finally broke down last week—"

"—she's really good with dealing with pain," her husband interrupted and Mrs. Ackerman glared over at him.

"Okay, and what happened last week?" Meredith asked before Mrs. Ackerman slipped into psycho mode again.

"Well," she started dramatically. "I took some Advil, and when that didn't help, I took some of my prescribed migraine reliever, but when that failed to work as well, I kind of overdosed. Mark rushed me here, and we've been here ever since."

Meredith nodded her head. "I see they had to pump your stomach many times and flushed out your system." Both of them nodded. "But they think that you're perfectly fine now, just that headache."

"Migraine," Mrs. Ackerman corrected Meredith.

"Of course. Well, I'm going to have Doctor Shepard come in and take an evaluation. He's our head of neurosurgery department." Meredith smiled at the couple and walked out flipping through the patient's history file.

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Christina stepped onto the elevator and was greeted by Burke. They were alone.

"Hi," she said meekly and rifled through her rounds' paperwork.

Burke just came closer and kissed Christina full on the mouth as his own personal greeting to her. He had been excited ever since she had told him that she was indeed moved in with him.

A surprised "oh" flew out of her mouth as she forgot all of her thoughts and dropped all five of the files. Burke pressed the emergency stop button and kissed Christina again. It was amazing; he kissed her like she was the only woman alive and Christina secretly loved it.

After about a minute, Burke pulled away and pushed the button again. The elevator jerked back into motion and both of them bent down to pick up Christina's papers.

They stood up as the doors opened and Burke passed by Christina to get off, "Good morning," was all he said and it made Christina shake her head and weak in the knees at the same time.

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Izzy had just come out of her second patient's room when she bumped into Alex.

"Whoops," she said and not only dropped her clipboard, but got a great feel of Alex's chest. _God_, she needed to get laid. She was this close to jumping all over Alex, and that was a very, very bad thing. Izzy had to restrain herself.

"You good, Stevens?" Alex asked when he returned her clipboard to her. Izzy nodded her head and then walked off with a blush on her face. "Didn't I grow up like fifteen years ago?" she mumbled to herself while glancing around to see if anyone was watching her.

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George saw Meredith heading towards the elevator with her hands full of patient's files.

"Hey! Let me help you," he said while rushing over to give Meredith a hand. She looked tired and out of sorts, but still in George's eyes she was beautiful. George knew why she was tired. She had been up late drinking in the bathtub. George had come in to brush his teeth when he had heard her hiccup behind the door. She had been on the edge of passing out, when he took the bottle of tequila away from her and poured it down the drain. Then he had picked her up and carried her to her room.

She had mumbled all the way about Derek. It made George sick to his stomach to see Meredith still hung up on him, when he, George, was right there eager to make her happy. After tucking her in, George had tried to go to bed, but all his thoughts were of Meredith.

"Thanks," Meredith said with a pained smiled. George could tell that she had a headache.

"No problem," George smiled back and then stepped onto the elevator with her. A couple of nurses were ridding up and so was Derek. He was playing with his Blackberry, so he didn't see them step on, but Meredith was looking at him. George could tell that she yearned to be alone with him.

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Addison had been paged by the Chief ten minutes ago. She didn't feel good today; maybe it had been the fact that she had thrown up this morning. Just like yesterday, and the day before that, and the day before that. Maybe she was pregnant…

No, she had thought about that before, and it was impossible, Derek and her had used protection and had only had sex a couple of times since Christmas. _Shit._

She rushed up to the Chief's office to see what he wanted before he shipped her back to New York.

"Well it's about time," he said when she entered.

"I'm sorry, I was in a patient's room when you paged, and they had a lot of questions about the procedure."

"Oh yes, the conjoined twins. Well that should be fun. Do you have any intern in mind?"

"Well—" Addison started, but the Chief cut her off.

"Do not say Doctor Stevens, Doctor Shepard."

"Actually, I was hoping that she would be interested."

"She won't be," the Chief said coldly.

"But what if she will be?"

"Fine," the Chief said with a sigh after a minute of contemplation. "You can ask her, but do not let her slip back. You have got to break her of that habit."

"I know," Addison said solemnly.

"Now, why I called you."

"Yes?"

"I want to be updated on Doctor Bailey's conditions. If she comes in, send her home. I know she'll try to sneak sometime and—"

"I know, I know." Addison said, and then felt a little queasy.

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Alex, Izzy, Meredith, Christina, and George all rushed out to the newly arriving ambulance. Alex grabbed the chart and started talking to the paramedics, while George took the bloody young woman's pulse.

"She's weak," George announced to the team.

"No duh," Alex said with a roll of his eyes.

George blushed and then went on checking the young woman's vital signs. Meredith and Christina were pushing the cart. Izzy lagged behind with Alex to get the information from the paramedics.

"We got an anonymous call and found her inside in the bedroom. She was lying unconscious on the bed covered in blood. The sheets were tossed all around; it looked like there was a struggle of some sort. The police are investigating right now. You know the procedure." He gave a tired smile to both of them and Alex and Izzy walked off.

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"Boyfriend?"

"Date Rape?"

"GHB?"

Izzy, Alex, and Christina were throwing around ideas about the new arrival from the paramedics. They had cleaned her up with the help of only one nurse. The hospital was starting to feel the affects of the nurse's strike. Temporaries could only do so much.

The young woman was still unconscious, but breathing heavier now and more steadily with the help of a breathing tube. They were keeping track of her vitals while George and Meredith called the police.

"We can't run any tests before she wakes up or until we get a parents consent," Izzy said, and Alex and Christina looked over at her as if it was just stupid to say that aloud. "Sorry," she murmured.

"Well Meredith and George better find someone quick, 'cause she might not make it any longer," Alex said to the both of them.

"I'm guessing it's—" Christina was cut off by the sound of coughing.

The young woman was waking up and trying to breath on her own. Christina quickly rushed over and took the breathing tube gently out of her throat. The girl coughed some more; her eyes clenched in pain.

"It's okay," Izzy was saying while hovering over the young woman.

The girl regained composure and looked at the three doctors surrounding her bed.

"I'm Amanda Parker," she said quietly.

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Meredith and George walked back into the young woman's room to find her awake and staring around her like a startled deer caught in headlights.

"Hi," she said shyly when they came into the room. Izzy, Alex, and Christina spun around to find Meredith and George coming in. "I'm Amanda."

"Amanda Parker." Alex informed them. "She's seventeen, her parents are out of town, and she doesn't remember a thing."

"The only thing she remembers is that she invited her boyfriend over to hang out while her parents were down in San Francisco for the night," Christina finished.

"GHB?" Meredith asked Christina while coming over and taking a look at the monitor.

"I think so, but we need to take some blood work. However, it's going to be quiet hard, since we had to give her blood."

"Urine test?" George asked while coming up to Meredith's side.

"But that can't be positive," Izzy said while knitting her eyebrows together. She was distracted because Alex was standing dangerously close to her. Izzy looked over at Amanda, who looked scared, but was staring at her and Alex. Amanda and Izzy locked eyes and Amanda gave a small smile.

After a second, she piped up, "You think Mike gave me GHB?"

"Mike? Is that your boyfriend?" Alex asked. Amanda nodded.

"Most likely," Meredith said, "Did anyone else come over last night?"

"I don't remember, but I can give you Mike's number and you can call him." Amanda rattled off the number, and Alex went to go make the call.

After some more questioning and getting some answers, all left except for Izzy. Amanda looked at her curiously. "You like him don't you?"

"Like you?"

"Doctor Alex."

"Oh," Izzy said in surprise. "Why?"

"I noticed that you two had a thing going on."

"Really? You could sense that?" Izzy asked suddenly worried.

"Yeah, but I seem to always know when something like that is going on between two people," Amanda blushed a little and then coughed. Izzy went up to get her some water.

"So it's not really evident?"

"I don't think so, but I know he likes you. And I sensed some guilt in him. Did he do something to you before?"

Izzy reluctantly nodded. Was it possible that this seventeen year-old could hold the answer to her constantly running thoughts?

"Well he's sorry now. Have you forgiven him?"

"Of course!" Izzy said quickly.

"Out loud?"

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AN: Tell me what you think. I want to know if I should continue or not…but review quickly, because I want to get this out before Sunday night! Thanks!


	2. Chapter 2

It was almost lunch time and Christina was starving. Usually Burke was in some kind of surgery, so she ate lunch with Meredith, George, and Izzy, but today, he came right up behind her and tapped her on the shoulder.

She spun around almost spilling her iced tea all down her shirt.

"Burke, oh hi."

"Hi Christina. I was wondering if I could possibly sit with you today at lunch," he said while staring into her eyes. God, it made her go weak in the knees just looking into his eyes.

"Um. Well, what I mean to say is.sure," she finally spit out and then smiled. Burke smiled back and then followed her over to the table where Meredith, George, and Izzy were already sitting. They all looked up at Christina and then over to Burke, and then over at Christina again with questioning eyes.

"Hey, Doctor Burke," Izzy greeted him while moving her tray over a bit to make room.

"Hello, Doctor Stevens," Burke said all formally and then sat down, while Christina rolled her eyes. There was just no escaping.

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Meredith was trying to hold her tongue about some of her thoughts while Burke was sitting at the table. She had really wanted to talk to Christina about Derek.okay, so maybe not, but still Burke was invading their space.

Burke got up right after finishing eating. "I have to be leaving now. See you all later. Bye Christina." He gave her a quick peck on the cheek and then left with his tray in his hands.

"Oh my God," Christina said while slumping into her chair. "That was so freaking awkward."

"Tell me about it," Izzy said.

"What was he doing here?" Meredith asked cutting straight to the chase.

"Hell if I know," Christina said while stuffing some of her roll into her mouth and then chewing vigorously. She had barely eaten anything while Burke had been sitting beside her, but now she was stuffing things into her face.

"Slow down Christina," George advised, but she just gave him a mean stare and kept at it.

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"So I take it you haven't told him yet?" Meredith asked Christina later while they put away their trays.

Christina just shot her a look which said to drop it, and she did.

"And you? Have you gotten a chance to tell McDreamy?"

"No," Meredith said soundly suddenly really sad.

Christina just ignored it and pushed the up button on the elevator, then took out her pager. "I gotta run. One of my patients keeps throwing up, and then temp can only handle so much."

"Oh, have fun with that." Christina shot her another look while stepping onto the elevator. Meredith waited for the next one to come. Her break could last a couple minutes longer.

After a minute or so, the elevator stopped and she got on. Derek was there cowering in the corner typing away on his blackberry. Meredith instantly blushed and coughed while she got on.

"Hi," he said, his eyes lighting up instantly.

"Hey. So how's the dog?"

"Fine. You know Addison is complaining, but I won't let her hurt him. He's a good boy. We went walking yesterday around the property. Maybe you should come and visit him sometime."

Meredith knew she would like that, but it would be torture for her if she knew she couldn't have Derek back for good. Just seeing him everyday for work was bad enough; hanging out with him in her spare time too would be overwhelming.

"Um," was she could manage, before the doors opened up to reveal Addison waiting to get on.

"Hello Meredith," she said half coldly, half warmly.

"Hi Doctor Shepard," Meredith said trying to get her blushing under control. She hadn't been doing anything wrong, so why was she acting like she had just been caught making out behind her middle school with her crush of the week?

Silence rung through the elevator.

Finally it ended when the doors binged and Meredith got out. She breathed in and then walked off, knowing that both Addison and Derek were watching her.

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"Hi, Mrs. Ackerman. I'm Doctor Shepard, head of neurosurgery, here at Grace. I see you have had an ongoing migraine for almost three weeks, and nothing seems to work, is that correct?"

The woman nodded while her husband clutched her hand nervously.

"Okay, well I tell you what I'm going to do. I think we need to take an MRI of the brain, and then well see if there is anything disrupting your temporal lobe."

She nodded again and Derek handed her the paper work to be filled out. He waited, because there were no nurses available to take and file it. Finally, Mrs. Ackerman was done, and Derek paged Meredith to have her come up and take Mrs. Ackerman to the MRI room and then page him when the results came back.

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The Chief sat in his office with his head in his hands. He had a raging head ache and the constant reminder of the petition going on outside was no help either. His wife had called several times to make sure if he was okay or not, and all of the times he had been short with her, but she was used to it by now. However, that was no excuse.

There was a knock on the door. "Excuse me, Chief?" Izzy stepped into the office and was greeted by a tired looking Chief. "Oh, I'm sorry. Am I interrupting anything?"

"What would you be interrupting Doctor Stevens?"

She was silent. "No, you are fine. What can I do for you?"

"Well, Doctor Shepard came to me about the conjoined twins C-section surgery, and she wanted to know if I wanted in. I told her I wanted to check with you first to see if that was okay."

"And why would you do that?"

"Because I thought it would be the right thing to do; to make sure you were kept to your all knowing status. I haven't seen you around the surgery scheduling board all day, and I was beginning to worry." The Chief noticed the concern in her eyes and was comforted.

"Thank you Doctor Stevens. I appreciate that. And yes you may assist Doctor Shepard."

"Thank you, Chief." Izzy left as quietly and as quickly as she could and went to go check on Amanda.

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George saw Meredith from a mile away. She still looked tired and weary, but still in his eyes beautiful

"Hey Meredith, wait up," he yelled as she basically cantered down the hallway. This was it, he was going to tell her how he felt. Finally.

"Hey George," she said while putting a hand to her head and clenching her eyes up as if she had a headache. Was it just the sight of him that made her get a headache? Or was it something else? McDreamy?

"Are you okay? Do you want an aspirin?"

"I've already taken quiet a lot. I think I'll be fine in a minute or two. Just give me time."

"Okay. Do you want to maybe catch a nap or just lie down and rest? I can cover your shift for about an hour if you like."

"Nah, I'll be fine, George," she said. He loved the way she said his name, however, this time it was like as if she was annoyed.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes," she semi-snapped and walked away still clutching her head. George watched her walk away and frowned.

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Christina was trying to focus on her rounds, but her thoughts always came back to her lies. They were haunting her. Goddamnit.

She finished checking up on everyone and then went to find Burke, to see if she could get it out before she lost the nerve.

Christina finally found him sipping some coffee and milling around the surgery board. She just about lost her head when his gaze turned to her. Gosh, she was beginning to feel like a little school girl, and she hated it, but loved it at the same time. This was weird.

"Hey," she said while walking over and standing right next to him.

"Hello," he said and offered a sip of his coffee to her. Christina took it gratefully, she would need all the help she could get to get through telling the truth.

"Burke, there's something I need to tell you. It's kind of important."

"Okay."

"Well." Suddenly Burke's pager went off and he looked down at it with a furrowed brow.

"I'm sorry Christina, I have to go. We'll talk about this later, okay?"

He ran off not waiting for her answer. Christina just watched him. Her time had come and passed. "Okay," she whispered.

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Izzy walked into Amanda's room and saw her reading some teen magazine.

"Hi, Doctor Izzy," she said with a smile on her face.

Izzy wanted to smile back, but she had just gotten the results from the blood test they had taken right after lunch. Amanda had been druged with GHB and then raped. This was going to take some time to get out.

"Is everything okay?" Amanda asked while setting down the magazine and looking into Izzy's eyes.

Izzy wanted to tell her, but the truth was just so hard to hear. She needed Alex to be here with her when she told Amanda. It was just something she had to do.

"I'll be right back, Amanda, I forgot something."

Izzy rushed out of the room and searched for Alex. He was easily found in one of the break rooms trying to get some coffee.

"Alex. I need you." Izzy whispered gruffly. He looked over at her with his eyebrows raised high.

"Not like that, you egotistical-"

"Sshh," he said while putting a finger to her lips. "Don't say anything you might regret afterwards." They stared into each other's eyes for a moment, and then he put down his finger and Izzy could breathe again.

"I need you to help me tell Amanda that she was drugged with GHB and raped. Can you come with me?"

Disgust ran across Alex's face and he said, "Sure" without even waiting for his cup of coffee to finish brewing.

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Meredith got done taking Mrs. Ackerman to the MRI room and had wheeled her back. She was mentally and physically exhausted. Had working at the hospital always been this hard, or had the past week just accumulated because of her constant thoughts of Derek. She had to page him now and then wait for him and then see him. God, why did she feel like she had to tell him how she felt?

After about ten minutes, Derek came in with the results in his hands. "Hello Mrs. Ackerman, Mr. Ackerman, Doctor Grey." He glanced at Meredith and something passed between them, but Meredith couldn't put her finger on it. It was something. Derek turned to Mrs. Ackerman and said, "I have your results, and it's a cystic tumor on the temporal lobe of your brain. We'll need to get you into surgery as soon as we can. And from there everything will be fine. You'll need to put on radiation, just in case some of the tumor tissue or even cells are left over. You can never be to safe." Derek smiled at them and handed them the paperwork to approve the surgery. "Meredith, can you come with me to schedule the surgery for as soon as possible?" Meredith nodded and walked out of the room with Derek.

"So how is your day going so far? You look like you have a headache? Are you okay?" Derek looked over at her with concern in his eyes.

She didn't want to worry him, so she lied, again, "I'm fine. Just took some aspirin."

"Are they working?" He joked with a glint in his eye as they stepped onto the elevator.

"Yes," Meredith lied again. God, it was becoming so easy; even if it was just a little white lie.

"Okay, so do you want in on the surgery?"

"Um, sure," she said half-heartedly, but Derek just nodded and walked off with hid blackberry in his hands.

Meredith watched him walk away from her, just like all the other times. It was like she was doomed to be disappointed and lie about it for the rest of her life. She was a hopeless mess.

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"So I heard about you thinking that you're finally going to tell Meredith how you feel about her O'Malley." Christina said while shaking her head at George and his silliness.

"Hey, I will, just give me some time, okay? God, why does everything think I'm not going to go through with it?"

"Because we know you," Christina said while taking a sip of her coffee and trying to figure out if she was really going to tell Burke about her not officially moved in or not. Maybe she would chicken out and George would go though with it. Oh dear Lord, she couldn't let that happen. No, she was going to tel Burke, and he would understand. She just needed time, like George.

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"I've been what?"

"Raped," Izzy said softly trying to make this less difficult than it really was.

"And drugged," Alex added and Izzy shot him a look. He was really being helpful and gentle, not his usual self.

There were tears in Amanda's eyes and she looked ass if she had just seen a ghost.

"But, but, but Mike would never do anything like that to me. We love each other. He would never hurt me, or rape me. We haven't even had sex yet! We're waiting for each other."

"Well it seems as if he jumped on the band-wagon early."

She began to shake and Izzy got her some tissues. "I'm sorry, but we need to contact the police and get them involved."

"W-wait!" Izzy and Alex looked at Amanda expectantly. "Am I pr-pre-pregnant?"

"Um, we don't know yet," Izzy said gently. "You'll need to wait a little bit."

Alex's pager went off and he checked it. "The police are here to question you," he said to Amanda.

"Would you like me to wait with you?" Izzy asked her and she nodded slowly while the tears poured down her cheeks. "I'll just be right back. I have to talk to Doctor Alex for minute."

Izzy and Alex got out of Amanda's room, and Izzy looked at Alex. "Are you going to be okay?" He asked her while putting a hand on her shoulder.

"I think I'll be okay. I mean, I just feel so bad for her. I can really empathize what she's going through."

"You can?" Alex asked in surprise.

Realizing what she had said, Izzy searched frantically for something to say. "No, I meant sympathize. I haven't been through that before. Jeez, that would suck though." The lie felt like ash on Izzy's lips and she hated it. She hated the feeling that would wash over her the minute Alex walked away thinking God knows what. Alex looked at her with questioning eyes.

"Are you sure you're going to be okay?"

"Yes." He nodded and walked off, and Izzy had been right, she felt like shit lying to someone she cared about, but the truth was so hard to say aloud.

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Addison was trying to make some sense of her husband when he walked right through the door to the break room. She smiled up at him, despite her previous thoughts.

"Hi," he said a little coldly, but locked the door, which to Addison was a good sign.

"Hey. How's your day been so far?"

"Fine," Derek said while coming over to the bed, which she was lying on and sat down next to her. Addison rubbed his back and he looked over at her. "I have a surgery in an hour."

"So do I," Derek said with a smile on his face.

"And?" Addison questioned, wanting him to yearn for her for once.

He didn't say anything, just leaned over and kissed her on the cheek. "I'm sorry about the dog, but I'm doing this as a favor for Meredith. You understand don't you? And I'm sure we can get a pen for him outside or something. We can make a compromise."

"Good, I'm willing to compromise."

"Oh are you now?" He asked with a glint in his eye. It had been a long time since Derek had looked at her like that, but suddenly a wave of uneasiness washed over her and she felt sick. Derek noticed the sudden change in Addison's face, and asked her if she was okay.

She didn't say anything, but just shook her head and put a hand to her mouth. She looked as if she was going to throw up. Maybe she had come down with something from working too hard.

"Addison, I think you need to go to the bathroom." She nodded and then rushed out of the room, leaving Derek sitting on the bed wishing things had gone differently.

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Meredith was in the bathroom washing her hands, when Addison came running in, a hand clutched to her mouth as if she was holding back vomit. She rushed into a stall and a moment later, Meredith heard the sound of vomiting. She knew that sound well, since she had been drinking a lot and throwing up almost every night. Damn Derek.

"Addison, are you okay?" Meredith asked while opening the stall door to make sure she wasn't drowning or anything.

Addison moaned and then smoothed her hair back. Meredith was feeling almost sickly just looking at her. She looked so pathetic, yet fragile, as if she were at the end of her rope. Meredith, instead of feeling triumphant, felt horrible and tried to get Addison cleaned up.

She was a little out of sorts, but Addison realized that Meredith was trying to help her, and for that she was grateful.

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After getting some food into her stomach, Addison felt fine and was ready to jump into her surgery. Izzy was already there prepping, while only a handful of nurses were in the OR preparing. This was going to be a difficult surgery with only a handful of nurses. But Addison could pull it off.

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Derek was trying to concentrate, but something about Meredith was bugging him. She wasn't in a good mood; she was in pain, he could tell.

While they were washing their hands prepping for surgery, Derek asked her, "Are you sure you're feeling up to being in there with me for a while."

"Yes," Meredith lied. Actually, she felt like shit for wanting another woman's man; that and her headache was even worse now that she had smelled all that vomit when helping Addison.

"Okay," Derek said, not fully convinced, but willing to believe Meredith. "Let's go."

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	3. Chapter 3

Mrs. Ackerman was lying in her bed, sleeping when Meredith and Derek came in to check on her after surgery. Her husband was sitting in a chair, clutching her hand, also asleep.

Meredith tried not to want someone like that for herself, but it was hard to resist the temptation of the thought, but it was do damned hard.

"I guess we better wait to wake them up, huh?" Derek asked Meredith while walking out of the room with a small smile on his face. "Would you keep an eye on them and page me when they are awake? There are some things I want to go over with them for the radiation therapy.

He started walking away, but Meredith saw this as a chance to tell him. "Wait, Derek!"

He spun around and said, "Yeah?"

Meredith saw the look in his eyes. He was Addison's, not hers. Derek was never hers, and he would never be hers.

"Nothing. Sorry." Derek looked at her questioningly, but shrugged and walked off down the hallway. Meredith had chickened out, and she knew it, but she wanted to look at it as if she was making the right decision to keep her thoughts and feelings to herself.

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"Izzy?" Alex asked and he spun around with a small smile on her face. She had just been thinking about him.

"Yeah?"

"Um, I was wondering. I know I've been a jerk, but well I was wondering if you wanted to maybe try it out again…"

Although she knew what he was talking about and was more than ecstatic, she wasn't going to let him off that easy. "Try what out?"

Alex stalled for a moment. "You and me."

"Oh. Oohhh." Izzy really wanted to try it again, but she didn't want to seem over excited. "Yeah."

"Really?" Alex asked, his eyes lighting up.

"Yes." Izzy smiled and Alex smiled back. Today was a good day.

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"I couldn't tell him," Meredith said to Christina while looking into Mrs. Ackerman's room. They were still sleeping, but Meredith was keeping an eye on them.

"Yeah, well I was this close to telling Burke, and then his damn pager went off and I lost my nerve." Christina huffed and shook her head.

George came up next to Christina and said, "Hey guys."

"Hi," both Meredith and Christina answered while looking into Mrs. Ackerman's room.

"Well," Christina said abruptly. "I better go and check on some people." She walked away, but no before she could give George a look as if to say, "Here's your chance; it's now or never, O'Malley."

Butterflies flew in George's stomach as he inched closer to Meredith who was nursing a cup of coffee and swaying a little in her sneakers.

"Meredith, there's something I've been wanting to tell you, but I've just been a little hesitant."

"George, what's wrong with me?" Meredith asked. George shook his head, wondering where that came from.

"What do you mean?" He asked, noticing the tears in her eyes.

"Why can't I stop thinking about him? Looking at him. Wanting him. Why?"

"I don't know," George said while looking around the deserted hallway. "Maybe you just need some closure."

"Oh George," she cried while flinging herself into his arms. He was taken aback, but then wrapped his arms around her sobbing and shaking body carefully and timidly. It felt weird to be this close to Meredith, especially when she was this unhinged. He hated to see her like this, but he enjoyed having her cry on his shoulder. It made him feel as if he was doing something right when it came to Meredith.

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Christina left George and Meredith and bumped straight into Burke.

"I'm sorry," she said while looking up into his eyes.

His hands were placed on her shoulders. "No, it was my fault," he said.

There was something about him and the way that he took the blame for everything that made Christina feel loved. She actually felt like she was a girl, and he was a boy, who was protecting her. God, she hated it. Well she liked it when she was lost in the novelty of the idea, but then when she snapped back it felt like she had betrayed herself for thinking like that.

"What was it that you wanted to talk to me about earlier today, Christina?"

Oh shit. "Um, well. Burke," she took a step back. He would understand. He would. Burke loved her and he would understand. "I haven't officially moved in yet." Oh God, did she just say that aloud? Did she really go through with it?

"What do you mean?" Burke asked stepping back like he had just been bitten.

"I mean, I still have my other apartment with all of my stuff in it. I just sleep with you."

"Oh," was all that was said for a while. Then his pager went off, but Burke just ignored it. "I can't believe this."

"W-what?"

"Why did you lie to me?"

"I thought you wanted me to move in with you, but the fact is that I wasn't completely ready for you, but I didn't know what else to do. Burke I was a little bit scared of…"

"Scared of what?"

Christina stopped for a moment and looked into Burke's understanding and loving eyes. "I was scared of losing you."

"Oh Christina," Burke whispered while pulling her into his arms. She was on the verge of tears and she felt like an idiot about it.

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"Hello, Mrs. Ackerman," Derek said while walking into the room. She was awake now and looking much better. "How are you feeling?"

"Much better."

"Is the throbbing gone?"

"Yes," she answered and smiled at him gratefully.

"Okay, well here's some information about radiation therapy and after your recovery, we'll need to get you on that."

"Thank you Doctor," Mr. Ackerman said while taking the papers from Derek's hands.

"I'll make sure that Doctor Grey checks in on you regularly." Derek turned to leave, and then Mrs. Ackerman called him back softly.

"Thank you Doctor Shepard," she said quietly. He smiled and welcomed her and then left.

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Izzy and Alex walked into Amanda's room. Izzy had a smile on her face. Amanda was rolled over on one side looking out of the window and into the bleak sky.

"Amanda?" Izzy called softly.

"The police talked to Mike, and he said that he didn't do anything. But that he invited some other friends over without thinking. They are working on getting up with those people. Things will be worked out soon." Alex said while looking over at Izzy.

Amanda finally rolled over. "Are you sure?" She asked with tears in her eyes. They were threatening to crash onto her cheeks at any moment.

"Yes," both Izzy and Alex said and then smiled at Amanda, who smiled back and then gave Izzy a look.

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Derek left Mrs. Ackerman and went to find Addison to see if she was feeling any better.

"Addison?" He asked when he found her lying on one of the beds.

She groaned. She had had another episode, but this time it had just been dry heaving. Addison was really starting to worry about her health. What if she was pregnant? What would they do? Would Derek want it? Or would he go back to his mistress.

Derek came over and clutched her hand. "I think we need to get you home…you are in no shape to be here with a stomach like this."

Addison nodded and groaned again. Something was definitely wrong, and Addison was scared about what it was.

Derek scooped her up and she placed her head on his shoulder. "It's gonna be okay," he murmured into her ear. She knew he was lying, but she wasn't about to call him out on it.

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George kissed Meredith's head, while she still clung to him, asking unanswerable questions.

Burke convinced Christina that is was okay that she needed time, but to not be afraid to tell him the truth from now on.

Izzy and Alex kept Amanda company.

And Derek took Addison home and made her chicken soup.

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_Telling lies is easy, living the lie can be a pain and constant reminder, but telling the truth hurts. Sometimes it can't be done, and we blame it on our situation, or that it's not the right time. When we stall it gets worse, and the lie keeps growing and embedding its deceit into our thoughts._

_The only escape is to let it all out and become free, but when we can't do that, the only thing we can blame is ourselves, and that is the hardest concept to grasp._

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AN: I hope you enjoyed it. Thanks for reading and reviewing. I know the ending could have been better, but I wanted this to get out as soon as possible, so I rushed it. Next time I'll try not to procrastinate. Although there aren't any promises:)


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